What Could Have Been
by JeffNero.Lover
Summary: Rating for safety. Previously Untitled.Kate always had friends, but when she breaks off her engagement to Matt Hardy, will she ever see her true friends again?
1. Chapter One

March 7th, 2003  
  
Dear Diary,  
  
This took too long to think about. I have to write it down. We were friends all our lives. Amy, Trish and me did everything together. We were like sisters. Trish then met these two guys when I was 14, Jeff and Matt Hardy. Matt and Amy hit it off right away. It was kind of romantic, seeing Matt doing all those things for Amy. She deserved it.  
  
Matt and Jeff were daredevils, always showing us their newest wrestling moves. You see, wrestling was, no, it is their life. They would always be talking about it or practicing for their big break, which wasn't long in coming. Soon Amy and Trish followed them into stardom. I loved wrestling, but I could never do it. So I sang while they wrestled. I was a songwriter and they were the daredevils. I mean, I would've loved to be out there, with the crowds chanting my name as I back-flipped off the top rope and went for the 1-2-3. No one, not even Amy or Trish, who knew everything about me, knew about my secret fantasy of running out and saving Matt. Haha, fat chance. Then next he would grab me after he won and kiss me. Even fatter chance. You see, I was fat and ugly. I cried myself to sleep every night. I felt as if I was drowning, and no one could save me, not even Matt. I seen my life as a dark void, in a place where no one in the world could see me.  
  
My parents were fighting all the time so it was no surprise to hear that they had filed for divorce. I moved in with my father. Little did I know that this was one of the biggest mistakes of my life. The third biggest mistake actually. To this day, I can't believe I had left Matt. If I hadn't of left, we would be married now. I still have his ring.  
  
It's been five years since I seen any of them. I still watch wrestling every Sunday, Monday and Thursday, and every Pay-Per-View show. I watch to see how they're doing. Amy is hosting Heat now, something she said she'd never do, Trish is after the women's title again, Jeff seems to be doing fine on his own and Matt. Whoo-hoo Mattitude. I'm really glad he won the cruiserweight championship at No Way Out. I was there but I doubt he recognized me. He looked at me, kinda stopped for a minute and then shook his head and kept going. I just wish that I could've given him a hug instead of that Shannon Moore. Whenever his music comes on, I have to leave the room. I take out his ring, and cry. Then I wait until the next week when I can see him again.  
  
My father beat me. The night I moved out of his house and in with Amy and Trish, I was 16 and he tried to rape me. Thanks to my best friends, I knew how to defend myself. In his eyes, that was a bigger mistake and he beat me so hard I could barely walk. I was thrown against the stairs and strangled. I remember thinking, "Just kill me now and get it over with." He was drunk and soon passed out and I got the hell out of there as fast as I could. The next couple of days was a blur. All I remember is always falling asleep and waking up in Matt's arms. We didn't have sex until about two years after the incident with my father. I can still remember it like it was yesterday. We went to his house to watch movies and his father, Gilbert, wisely left the house. Jeff stayed at Trish's. They had started dating and we were not surprised when he tried to sneak out of her room almost every morning. Half way through our movie, the power went out. Matt looked at me and I threw myself into his arms. We made love.  
  
About three weeks later, we had a scare. Every time I think about it, I can remember what I said and what was said to me.  
  
*FLASHBACK*  
  
"Matt," I said, as I walked up to him.  
  
"Hey babe." He said. "What's wrong?" He always knows when something is wrong.  
  
"I...oh god...Matt, I think I'm pregnant." The words were out and Matt was shocked.  
  
"What?"  
  
"I don't know yet. I bought a test, but will you come with me?" I was scared and I couldn't do this alone. We went to the bathroom. I took the test and we had to wait for five minutes.  
  
"Matt, what are you going to do if it's positive?" I was really scared now. I didn't want him to leave me.  
  
"I'm staying. You know I love kids, but it's your body. What do you want to do?" Matt was really understanding. That was one reason I loved him so much.  
  
"I'm glad you're staying." I got up, went to him and hugged him. "I don't believe in abortion and I can't give it up so I guess I'm going to keep it."  
  
"No." Matt's reply was harsh. "We're going to keep it." I leaned up and kissed him. Then the timer dinged. Matt got up to check it.  
  
"It's pink." I grabbed the box.  
  
"Negative."  
  
"You're not pregnant?" I could tell Matt was upset.  
  
"No." Matt pulled me up and kissed me.  
  
"Don't worry. We have plenty of time to work on it."  
  
*END OF FLASHBACK*  
  
A/N: Hey guys. I don't know if this is a good idea or not but plz plz plz R&R. This was a dream I had last night, so I wrote it down. I'm going to go over what happened after the flashback, but I don't know when I'll be able to update again. Nothing in this story happened to me but I got the abuse part from a song. "I'm OK" by Christina Aguliera. This song rules. I thought Christina was a slut but now, after hearing this song and seeing Diary of: Christina on MTV, she said it was really hard doing this song b/c it all happened to her. Get the song, its on her Stripped CD, give her credit, not me. 


	2. Chapter Two

~*~A/N: Special thanks to Tjay Motou for helping me with the title. You're the best girl!! :D I'm not sure if it's Matt's real b-day but I seen it in a story, so go figure. I don't have a lot of time to type this up, so I may skip over some parts! LoL!~*~  
  
*Flashback to December 30th, 1997*  
  
It was Matt's birthday. We already gave him his presents. Jeff had rented out the local club so we all went down there to party. Everyone on WWE came down to party with us. Trish and Amy took turns singing.  
  
Believe me, they are really good singers. They tried to get me up on the stage so many times that night. I never went up, I was too scared. Until our song.  
  
"OK, you guys. I was going through some old papers and I found an old song. Amy, Kate and I sang this in the summer of '85." Trish was determined to get me up there. Amy turned and looked at me, we could hardly believe that she found it.  
  
"Amy, Kate, get up here."  
  
"No way. Not until hell freezes over!" I was really scared. I hadn't sang in front of a crowd this big for at least 9 or 10 years.  
  
"Please, Kate? Come on, we know you can sing!" Amy was up there already. Then she had to say the thing I didn't want anyone else to know. "Kate wrote this song when she was eight."  
  
"Matt?" Trish knew how to get me up there.  
  
"Matt, put me down." He had carried me to the stage. I was there.  
  
"I guess hell froze over. Did you guys notice how cold it got?" Dwayne Johnson, a.k.a. The Rock.  
  
"Cute, real cute, Dwayne! Come on you guys! I haven't sang for 5 years!" I looked at Matt. He had opened his mouth, ready to say something. I knew what he was going to say.  
  
"Shut up Matt." He did. For once. The song started.  
  
Amy: Never give up, Never give up  
  
All: The tide is high but I'm holding on, I'm gonna be your#1.  
  
Me: I'm not the kind of girl who gives up just like that, oh no!  
  
Trish: It's not the things you do that tease and hurt me bad. But it's the way you do the things you do to me. I'm not the kind of girl who gives up just like that. Oh no!  
  
All: The tide is high but I'm holding on, I'm gonna be your number one. The tide is high, but I'm holding on. I'm gonna be your #1. #1, #1.  
  
We were dancing around and having the time of our lives.  
  
Amy: Every girl wants you to be her man. But I'll wait right here till it's my turn. I'm not the kind of girl who gives up just like that. Oh no!  
  
All: The tide is high, but I'm holding on, I'm gonna be your #1, the tide is high, but I'm holding on I'm gonna be your #1. #1, #1.  
  
Every time that I get the feeling, you give me something to believe in. Every time that I got you near me, I know the way that I want it to be. But you know that I'm gonna take my chance now, I'm gonna make it happen somehow and you know I can take the pressure, a moment's pain for a lifetime pleasure.  
  
Me: Every girl wants you to be her man, but I'll wait right here till it's my turn. I'm not the kind of girl who gives up just like that. Oh no!  
  
All: The tide is high but I'm holding on, I'm gonna be your #1. The tide is high but I'm holding on, I'm gonna be your #1. #1, #1.  
  
Every time that I get the feeling, you give me something to believe in, every time that I got you near me I know the way that I want it to be, but you know that I'm gonna take my chance now, I'm gonna make it happen somehow, and you know I can take the pressure, a moment's pain for a lifetime pleasure.  
  
I think everyone was surprised. I just can't believe Amy told them I wrote it when I was 8!  
  
"OK, you guys. Amy, Trish, Jeff, Matt and I wrote this song when I was 15. Matt and Jeff, I know! Anyway, I found it so you four, get up here and sing this song with me!" They all came up and the music started.  
  
All: "And I never thought I'd feel this way  
  
And as far as I'm concerned  
  
I'm glad I got the chance to say  
  
That I do believe I love you  
  
And if I should ever go away  
  
Well, then close your eyes and try  
  
To feel the way we do today  
  
And then if you can remember  
  
Keep smiling, keep shining  
  
Knowing you can always count on me  
  
For sure  
  
That's what friends are for  
  
In good times, and bad times  
  
I'll be on your side forever more  
  
That's what friends are for  
  
Keep smiling, keep shining  
  
Knowing you can count on me  
  
For sure  
  
That's what friends are for  
  
In good times, and bad times  
  
I'll be on your side forever more  
  
That's what friends are for  
  
That's what friends are for!"  
  
We got a standing ovation. I realized then that this is where I belonged. On the stage doing what I love most, singing. 


	3. Chapter Three

A/N: Sorry it took my so long to update guys, I have had a major case of writer's block. I know what's gonna happen in the next oh, 30 chapters or so (lol, j/k), but I just can't get these ones written. I'm doing my best. In school, I am in two different groups, me being the only girl in the groups with 2 to 3 boys. Me, being the only one who has a brain, I have to do all the work. Yay me, right? Then on top of that, I have been sick the last two weeks. I'm just getting over it now. OK. I'll stop rambling now. If you have any ideas for me that I can use, or criticism, send it in a review or an email at By the way, I MAY BE GOING TO RAW IN HALIFAX!!!!! Sry, I just had to get that out. Lol. Story starting now. I'll shut up.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Chapter Three:  
  
April 3rd, 2003  
  
Dear Diary,  
  
After we sang that night, I wrote more songs. Most of these were emotional ones, mainly because I was emotional that week. I wrote one about my father and the beatings. None of them ever heard it.  
  
I sang at open mic night only when they were on the road. Kate MacDonnell sounded so lame, so I changed it for stage uses only. I was now Christina Aguilera, or X-tina, as I was known to the many people at the bar. Some days I would just walk to the stage and everyone would be chanting my stage name. "X-tina, X-tina, X-tina" was all I heard. It was nice, knowing that people knew about me.  
  
I don't know why I only sang when they were on the road. I guess I just didn't want them to know what I was feeling. Some nights I would go and see Gil, some nights I would go to Jeff's house, some nights I would go to Matt's house, where I would finally fall asleep, after crying for awhile. I guess long distance relationships were always hard on me.  
  
Jeff, being the great friend, no, brother he was, always let me use his studio whenever I wanted to. I felt safe in there, knowing that everyone else knew that nobody was to come in when the light was on.  
  
While recording, or trying to record the song about my father, so many memories came rushing back. I had to stop singing because I was crying so hard. I gave up trying to record at all that day.  
  
The next day I felt a little better so I went in the studio again. I would start by playing the music, guitar, then piano, then I would sing. I closed my eyes and started the music.  
  
"When I think,  
  
How life used to be,  
  
Always walking in the shadows,  
  
Then I look at what you've given me,  
  
I feel like dancing on my tiptoes,  
  
I must say,  
  
Everyday I wake,  
  
And realize you're by my side,  
  
I know I'm truly blessed,  
  
For everything you've given me,  
  
Blessed for all the tenderness you show,  
  
Do my best,  
  
With every breath that's in me,  
  
Blessed to make sure you never go.  
  
There are times that I test your faith,  
  
Till you think you might surrender,  
  
Baby, I'm, I'm not ashamed to say,  
  
That my hopes were growing slender.  
  
You walked by,  
  
In the nick of time,  
  
Looking like an answered prayer,  
  
You know, I'm truly blessed,  
  
For everything you've given me,  
  
Blessed for all the tenderness you show,  
  
Do my best,  
  
With every breath that's in me,  
  
Blessed to make sure you never go,  
  
Blessed with love and understanding,  
  
Blessed when I hear you call my name,  
  
Do my best,  
  
With faith that's never-ending,  
  
Blessed to make sure you feel the same,  
  
Deep inside of me,  
  
You fill me with your tender touch,  
  
You know I'm truly,  
  
Blessed for everything you've given me,  
  
Blessed for all the tenderness you show,  
  
Do my best,  
  
With every breath that's in me,  
  
To see you never go,  
  
Never, never, never go..."  
  
The next day, I preformed that song at the club. I could tell everyone loved it. I'm glad they did. I was Spanish so I preformed one of my oldies too, "Mi Reflejo (Reflection)"  
  
"Para ti (Look at me)  
  
Lo que ves de mi (You may think you see)  
  
Es la realidad (Who I really am)  
  
Mas tu no conoces (But you will never know me)  
  
El papel que la vida (Everyday)  
  
Me hace actuar(It's as if I play a part)  
  
Siendo asi (Now I see)  
  
Yo puedo burlar (If I wear a mask)  
  
Mi mundo exterior (I can fool the world)  
  
Pero al corazon jamas (But I cannot fool my heart)  
Hoy no reconoci (Who is that girl I see )  
  
A quien vi frente a mi (Staring straight back at me)  
  
Mi reflejo no mostro (When will my reflection show)  
  
Quien soy en verdad (Who I am inside)  
Un dia mas (I am now in a world)  
  
Que me corazon tengo que ocultar (Where I have to hide my heart)  
  
Todo mi sentir (And what I believe in)  
  
Al final (But somehow)  
  
Sabran como soy (I will show the world)  
  
Que pienso en verdad (What's inside my heart)  
  
Ese dia llegara, oh, oh (And be loved for who I am)  
Hoy no reconoci (Who is that girl I see?)  
  
A quien vi frente a mi (Staring straight back at me)  
  
Esa en mi reflejo (Why is my reflection)  
  
Se que no soy yo (Someone I don't know)  
No quiero aparentar (Must I pretend that I'm)  
  
Quiero ser realidad ( Someone else for all time)  
  
Mi reflejo no mostro (When will my reflection show)  
  
Quien soy en verdad (Who I am inside)  
Y mi corazon sentir, volar (There's a heart that must be)  
  
No soy, como quiero no (Free to fly)  
  
Y voy a cambiar (That burns with a need to know)  
  
No debe ser asi (The reason why)  
  
El fingir no es vivir (Why must we all conceal)  
  
La que veo frente a mi (What we think, how we feel)  
  
No aguanta mas (Must there be a secret)  
Ya no voy a ocultar (I'm forced to hide)  
  
La que soy (I won't pretend)  
  
Nunca mas (That I'm)  
  
Un buen dia el amor (Someone else for)  
  
Me rescatara (All time)  
  
Y ese dia (When will my)  
  
Quien yo soy se reflejara, ooh (Reflection show, who I am inside)"  
  
I hope they liked this one. It took me awhile to write this one, but I didn't have to do the translations. I knew Spanish. I was fine. I always feel better after I sing.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
A/N: Wow! OK, I didn't plan for that one to be that long! It's nine pages. Sorry about the Spanish, I'm not Spanish, so I had to use a translation page. The songs in this chapter are "Blessed" and "Mi Reflejo", both by Christina Aguilera. I didn't plan on using her name in here, but I said what the hell, it's fiction, so go for it! N-E-Wayz, there's a good RAW on tonite, Eric Bitchoff v.s. Stone Cold. Hehe I like that name, Bitchoff....well, g2g peeps! Happy St. Partick's Day! R U wearing green....?*Looks at self* Uh...gotta go!!!! 


	4. Chapter Four

*A/N: Hey guys! Well, 5 days to Wrestlemania!!! I can't wait to see it! Look at this: May 2nd, WWE in Ontario, May 3rd, WWE in Ontario, May 4th, WWE in Fredriction, New Brunswick, May 5th, Raw in Halifax and Wrestlemania Revenge in Sydney, and finally May 6th, Smackdown in Halifax. What a schedule! And, I'm 2 hours away from Sydney, and 3 hours away from Halifax!!! Yay me!! LoL! N-E-Ways, I'm home sick today from school, so I can type this up for you!  
  
Looking back, reading it over, I just realized that I forgot a couple of things! In these first chapters and the next few, I'm going to be doing it as diary entries. The girl, Kate, is going over what happened 5 years ago, then she's going to work up to the present time. One more thing:  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own anybody in this story except for Kate, who is me and Julie...well, actually she's my friend so she owns herself. LoL! I wish I owned Jeff tho....Lucky Beth, lucky Vince...I DIDN'T MEAN IT THAT WAY!!! LoL! But seriously, Beth is lucky....  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
iApril 7th, 2003i  
  
Dear Diary,  
  
Well, he came back. Jeff and him won another tag-team title. I wish I could've been there for them. Gil was sick so I decided to stay with him for awhile. He just had the flu, but the doctor wanted him to stay in bed until he got better.  
  
When Matt came home, I was so happy to see him. He ran to me and lifted me in his arms. We kissed and went into the house. That night, he had planned a romantic dinner. There were candles lit everywhere around the room with red roses and petals on every surface. There was a delicious dinner cooked. White wine, strawberries dipped in chocolate and a chicken and vegetable stir-fry. There was a rose in a glass vase on the table. We sat down and ate.  
  
After we ate, Matt came over to me. He went down on one knee and pulled out a little black box.  
  
"Kate," he said, "I love you so much. I have for the longest time. Will you marry me?" I had tears in my eyes.  
  
"Of course I will!" I jumped in his arms and kissed him. He slid the ring onto my finger. It was a 5-carat square diamond set on a platinum sliver band. It was beautiful, very beautiful. There was an inscription on the inside, "To K, Love M, 4-ever". I had news for him too, but I decided to wait. We wanted to wait and tell everyone we were engaged later.  
  
Now that I think about it, if we had told everyone right away, maybe we wouldn't be apart now, and maybe we would. I don't know. All I know is that if I could turn back time, I wouldn't have gotten mad at him. I would've let him explain and maybe he would let me explain.  
  
Now I can tell you don't understand a word I'm saying, I'll explain.  
  
The next day, we were planning on telling them at the club that night. Then something happened that I'll never forgive her for.  
  
Lauren was a new Diva. She went as Jewelz. I knew Andrew Martin (Test) hated me. Lauren came up to me that night, saying how good Matt was in bed. I was shocked. That no good bastard! I went to Matt's locker room and stormed in. The people in there just looked at me, most with hate in their eyes, others with disbelief.  
  
"What the hell were you thinking?!" I yelled at him.  
  
"What was I thinking? What were you thinking?! Cheating on me with Andrew?!" Matt yelled back. By now the locker room was crowded with all the superstars.  
  
"What?! I would never do that to you!" I was even more shocked. He believed Andrew over me. I knew that Andrew caused this mess. He just didn't want me to be happy. He was happy with Stacy Keibler. Or so I thought.  
  
"What?!" Stacy had just walked into the room, hearing us yelling down the hall.  
  
"Stacy, I swear, I didn't sleep with Andrew!" I hoped someone would believe me.  
  
"I know Kate, I believe you. Unlike some people in here." She said looking pointedly at Amy and Trish. I went over to hug her. That's when she felt the small bulge in my stomach. She looked at me, her eyes went to my stomach and I nodded. She gave me that look that meant "We need to talk".  
  
Lauren came in then, and walked over to Matt, and threw her arms around his neck.  
  
"So Matt, I see you're all mine now!" She smiled at him. Matt was shocked, as well as everyone else in the room.  
  
"What?!" He asked surprised.  
  
"Oh yeah, Matt, how was your day, or should I say night, with Lauren?" I said.  
  
"You would believe her over me?!" He said.  
  
"Why not, you didn't believe me." I shot back. "Oh, Matt, I almost forgot, here's your ring back." I took off my engagement ring and threw it at him. The room was once more shocked into silence.  
  
"No, you can keep it, I don't want it." He threw the ring back to me. I turned and walked out the door with Stacy following me. She turned me around and seen the tears running down my face.  
  
"Kate, does he know you're pregnant?" she asked.  
  
"No, I was going to tell him tonight when we got back to the hotel." I replied.  
  
"Oh Kate." She pulled me into a hug. "How far along are you?"  
  
"Uh, about three months." I said.  
  
"So, what are you going to do now?" She asked.  
  
"I don't know, but I'm moving out of Matt's place so I guess I'm getting an apartment." I said.  
  
"Hey, I got an idea!"  
  
"What?"  
  
"If you want Kate, you can move in with me, I got enough room." She said. I laughed, enough room? Her house had six bedrooms!  
  
"Are you sure? I mean, if you don't want me to..."  
  
"Kate, if I didn't want you to move in with me, I wouldn't have asked." She always had a smart comment.  
  
"Alright"  
  
That day, we started moving my things into her house. She broke up with Andrew that night. We had lots of sleepover-style make up parties. We would do mud masks , nails and make up. It was a lot of fun. One month later, I hadn't heard anything from my old friends. I was upset but I knew they didn't care about me anymore.  
  
Three months after the break-up, I was six months pregnant. I found out that I was going to have a little girl. Stacy still worked for the WWE, but now, instead of being a manager, she was a true Diva, working in all kinds of matches. We got closer now that I had moved in with her. When she went on the road, I usually stayed home. I went once thought. It was a lot of fun. She introduced me to Mark Calloway (Undertaker), Glenn Jacobs (Kane) and Shane Helms (Hurricane) and his girlfriend Julie. Julie seems really nice. I hope we can be friends soon.  
  
I came up with a name for my daughter, Aaliyah Danielle. Aaliyah is Arabic for beautiful and Danielle, well, because I just like that name.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
A/N: Whew! That is a long one too! It only took me an hour to type up. Haha. To Julie, u know who u are and I'm telling ya, you're going to have a lot more to do later on in the story! Thx for all the help! Luv ya Lots Ppl!! ~Kate 


	5. Chapter Five

*A/N: Hey guys! Sorry about how long it's taking me to update! I have been dealing with a lot in my life right now, so it may take longer than I expected to write this. Well, remember in like chappy 3 or something, when I mentioned the groups I am in at school? Well, we're done in both classes and I done the most work again. In L.A., we had to write a skit for the book The Face on the Milk Carton by Caroline B. Cooney. Basically, I wrote the whole thing. Then in french, with the other group, we had to make a magazine based on the technology in our school. We probably failed that one. LoL! N-E-Wayz, I'll try to write more often. I'm going to talk to one of my teachers to see if he can mark this story and add it to my final L.A. mark or something. I doubt it, but hey, he's a reasonable guy, so maybe! Wish me luck! On with the story!!! As always, R&R so I know you are reading it!!!  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Chapter 5  
  
April 10th, 2003  
  
Dear Diary,  
  
Today has been one of the worst days of my life. It's been five years since I was in that car accident. I was at the club I had been helping my friend Stephanie set up. It was raining, so Steph offered to drive me home. She was late for an important meeting so I said that I would call a cab. So the cab came and Steph left. When I hopped, or at least tried to hop, in the cab, I realised it was Julie, Shane's girlfriend. I asked her to drive me home.  
  
Halfway there, I heard the screech of tires and seen a car come speeding through the red light. Julie tried to drive out of the way, but it was impossible. The car crashed into my door as I tried to shield my stomach as best I could. I blacked out and woke up in the hospital.  
  
*Flashback*  
  
I opened my eyes and seen Steph, Stacy and Julie there watching me. I no longer felt my swollen stomach, just the pain.  
  
"Where's my baby?! Is she ok?!" I asked frantically.  
  
Stacy came up to me and gave me a hug.  
  
"They're gone." She whispered.  
  
"Gone? They? What do you mean?" I knew something wasn't right.  
  
This time Steph answered. "You were going to have twins, but when the car crashed into your door, some pieces of metal." She couldn't finish, she was crying too hard.  
  
"I'm so sorry, Kate" Julie said, crying as well. "If I had moved out of the way."  
  
"Julie, it's not your fault." I said, pulling her into a hug.  
  
"She's right, Julie, it's nobody's fault." Stacy replied. "Kate, I'm going to go get a doctor, alright?"  
  
"Okay."  
  
She soon came back, followed by a doctor. He said that when I got there, they had to do a C-section.  
  
"We thought they would be okay, but they were three months premature. They had some fragments of metal in them. We did everything we could. I'm sorry."  
  
"Can.can I see them?" I asked.  
  
"Of course. I'll have a nurse bring them in." He left and the nurse came in pushing a cart that held the bodies of my son and daughter. She passed them to me and I knew their names instantly.  
  
"Aaliyah Danielle and Michael David."  
  
*End Flashback*  
  
I got out of the hospital a couple of days later. I planned the funeral with the three of them, Stacy, Steph and Julie. The tombstone was in the shape of an angel. It read:  
  
Aaliyah Danielle  
  
And  
  
Michael David  
  
Infant Twins of  
  
Kate MacDonnell  
  
April 10th, 1998  
  
God decided to keep these little miracles in Heaven, where they will watch over their Mother Forever.  
I didn't know if I should put Matt's name on there as well. I didn't want his fans to tell him before I could. Not that I was planning on telling him anyway.  
  
I got their pictures back the day I left the hospital. Stacy bought me a heart-shaped locket, which I put the pictures in. That way I cold keep them near my heart forever.  
About a year after that, I went backstage with Stacy. I had changed so much, people didn't even know me. I had dyed my hair blonde, got contacts, more piercings and two tattoos. I got my ears pierced again and my nose, and a dragon tattoo on my lower back and Angel between my shoulder blades. I had lost a lot of weight. I was wearing a black mini skirt with a turquoise baby tank top that just showed off my pierced belly button. My hair was crimped and down and the locket was around my neck. We got a couple of looks from some guys. I hadn't dated since Matt. His ring was on my right ring finger. I knew now that it was a set-up, when Lauren said he cheated on me. Stacy heard her and Andrew talking about it a couple of days later. I almost went back to him, but then I remembered that he didn't believe me.  
  
I met Torrie Wilson and Adam Copeland. Adam seems to be really nice. And he's hot, so that's a plus! I talked to him for a long time. He was a newcomer to the WWE so he didn't know who I was. Thank god! If he had told Amy, Matt, Jeff or Trish, or anyone else that I was there, they would all be on my back. He told Molly Holly though. She told Trish who came running up to me.  
  
"Kate?" she asked.  
  
"What?" I said, annoyed.  
  
"Why didn't you come back?" Trish asked. "Where have you been?"  
  
"With Stacy, the only one who believed that I didn't sleep with Andrew." I said as I turned and walked away. Trish started to follow me, but Stacy pulled her back.  
  
"Leave her," Stacy siad.  
  
"I'm her best friend."  
  
"Listen to me, Trish. You don't know what she went through since she broke off the engagement. I was there for her and I believed her when you and Amy didn't. I didn't even know her that well, and I knew she wouldn't do something like that. She loved him too much to hurt him. Do you know she cried herself to sleep every night for months? She really trusted you and Amy. You don't know what went on in her life while you were here." Stacy said. The hall was crowded with all the wrestlers, who were listening to Stacy's every word.  
  
"Well then, tell me what happened to her." Trish said.  
  
"You really want to know what happened to me?" I said as I pushed through the crowd."I'll tell you what happened. I was going to marry the man I loved since I first met him. But he saw Amy first, so I had to wait. Finally, I got him. After what Lauren said to me, I couldn't believe it. I didn't believe it. But after what Matt said to me, I began to realize that he didn't believe me. And neither did you or Amy.  
  
I was in a car accident a couple of months later and....nevermind what happened there. I was aneroxic. Do you know I never had a date since Matt? Do you know my dream is finally coming true?"  
  
"Car accident?" This time Amy spoke. "Are you okay?"  
  
I glanced at Stacy, who shrugged her shoulders. I decided not to tell them what really happened.  
  
"I'm fine."  
  
"I'm sorry, Kate. I should've believed you." Amy said.  
  
"I know." I turned and walked away.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* A/N: Oh my, a confrontation! What's going to happen now? Is Kate going to tell them the truth? Next chappy in progress! 


	6. Chapter Six

Chapter Six  
  
April 20th, 2003  
  
Dear Diary,  
  
Steph finally opened her club, Sizzle. I sang a lot that night. The last time I sang, it was the last song that night. It was the one I wrote about my father.  
  
"Once upon a time there was a girl,  
  
In her early years, she had to learn,  
  
How to grow up living in a war she called home,  
  
Never know just where to turn for shelter from the storm,  
  
Hurt me to see the pain across my mother's face,  
  
Everytime my father's fist would put her in her place,  
  
Hearing all the yelling, I would cry up in my room,  
  
Hoping it would be over soon.  
  
Bruises fade father, but the pain remains the same,  
  
And I still remember how you kept me so afraid,  
  
Strength is my mother for all the love she gave,  
  
Every morning that I wake,  
  
I look back to yesterday,  
  
And I'm OK."  
  
I looked over to Stacy and seen the tears falling down her face. She didn't know all the details about my childhood.  
  
"I often wonder why I carry all this guilt,  
  
When it's you that helped my put up all these walls I've built,  
  
Shadows stir at night through a crack in the door,  
  
The echo of a broken child,  
  
Screaming "please no more",  
  
Daddy, don't you understand the damage you have done,  
  
To you it's just a memory,  
  
But for me it still lives on."  
  
I looked out through the crowd, and noticed a few were crying. I was crying, they were crying and now Steph and Julie were crying.  
  
"Bruises fade father, but the pain remains the same,  
  
And I still remember how you kept me so afraid,  
  
Strength is my mother for all the love she gave,  
  
Every morning that I wake, I look back to yesterday,  
  
It's not so easy to forget,  
  
All the marks you left along her neck,  
  
When I was thrown against cold stairs,  
  
And every day afraid to come home,  
  
In fear of what I might see there.  
  
Bruises fade father but the pain remains the same,  
  
And I still remember how you kept me so afraid,  
  
Strength is my mother,  
  
For all the love you gave,  
  
Every morning that I wake,  
  
I look back to yesterday,  
  
And I'm OK,  
  
I'm OK."  
  
I walked off the stage to lots of clapping. I went to Stacy and she hugged me.  
  
"Are you o...stupid question..." She said. I just laughed.  
  
"Yeah, yeah. Laugh all you want!" She said, grinning.  
  
"Ok, I think I will!" I replied, laughing. Julie came up to me.  
  
"That took guts, to get up there and sing that song." she said.  
  
"But none I don't have." I replied, smiling. We went to help Steph shut down.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Three months later, Stacy had asked me to go on the road with her. It was now July, 1999, with Wrestlemania that Sunday. I almost didn't go, because Julie needed me. Shane and her had just decided to see other people, and it was killing her. Shane was a close friend of mine too, just like Julie was. Julie told me to go, and Steph offered to stay with her.  
  
Wrestlemania was an experience I'll never forget. All the screaming fans, with extra excitement in the backstage area where I stayed with Stacy. Vince had been looking for someone to sing "The Star-Spangled Banner". Stacy, Shane, Dwayne, Mark, and a lot of others said that I would probably do it. So Vince came up to me with the opportunity of a lifetime, singing at one of the biggest events of the year, Wrestlemania. I, of course, said I would be happy to sing, so I went right to wardrobe. Vince came to get me a half hour later. I was wearing a black short skirt, and a white tank top with a pink button down shirt. My hair was down and curled, and I was wearing Stacy's silver hoops with my locket on a silver chain.  
  
Most of the wrestlers were in the ring. Matt, Jeff, Amy, and Trish all looked at me with surprised looks on their faces when I made my way down. J.R.'s voice came over the loudspeakers, "Now singing "The Star-Spangled Banner", Kate MacDonnell!" The crowds cheered as I climbed up the steps. Shane and Adam parted the ropes for me and I made my way to the middle of the ring. The music started and I sang with all the emotion in my heart.  
  
"Oh, say can you see?  
  
By the dawn's early light,  
  
What so proudly we hailed,  
  
At the twilight's last gleaming,  
  
Who's broad stripes and bright stars,  
  
Through the perilous fight,  
  
O'er the rampards we watched,  
  
Were so gallantly streaming,  
  
And the rockets red glare,  
  
The bombs bursting in air,  
  
Gave proof through the night,  
  
That our flag was still there,  
  
Oh, say does that star-spangled banner yet wave,  
  
O'er the land of the free,  
  
And the home of the brave...."  
  
I just smiled and waved while the crowd erupted behind me. Amy, Matt, Jeff and Trish were shocked. They hadn't heard me sing since the night at the club where we all sang on Matt's birthday. I walked over to the ropes and gave Shane a hug before he parted the ropes. Everyone in the ring followed us out, all heading up the ramp to the thunderous applause of the audience.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
A/N: I know it's short, but I have alot going on in my life. I almost broke my neck, my parents are getting a divorce, my older brother is moving back, school's almost out and i have to switch schools. So yeah, I've got alot on my plate. I'll try to update more but I'm not sure how often. I have another story on the go too, I'm gonna try to post it soon!  
  
Lots of Luv Peeps!  
  
~Kate 


End file.
